In Loving Memory of Patsy… “Not Patsy!”
I laid all of the photos out of Jennie, my model and the friend of Patsy, as I began the sculpture of Patsy. Remember I am trying to pay attention to my little nuances of the process of this sculpture and in looking at the photos I kept mumbling the following words in my head, “Not Patsy, not Patsy!” The more I looked and worked with the photos the more I had to say it. It was exhausting. I was wondering if this was the mixed up personalities thing that I mentioned in a previous post. It was as if I did not say this then somehow I would be sculpting Jennie instead of Patsy. I looked closer at the photos and began to question things. I asked Howard about a few of them. And he confirmed that I was right, some of the nuances of Jeanie were not Patsy. I can’t help but wonder, how on earth did I know this?
I wish I could be so bold in some of these feelings as to be able to sit down and tell the family what I think I know, and see how close I am. But all of that is just a little strange and I keep telling myself, “just do the art.”
In Loving Memory of Patsy… The Pose
have a model.
In all posthumous sculpture, when it is possible I will try and have someone pose in the pose and in the clothes that I am doing the sculpture. It will become my reference material. If you look at Ellie’s sculpture you will see her friend posing for the piece. I asked Patsy’s husband, Howard if he had someone in mind, if not I would take care of it. He suggested Patsy’s friend Jeanie. I was elated that I would have someone who not only was a similar shape and size but actually knew and loved my subject. The photo sitting went very well and the photos were extremely helpful. Later we did change the pose of the right hand. I hope the feet are all right, Most of the photos of Patsy she has her legs crossed.
In Loving Memory of Patsy… Feelings
I have been thinking about all of the posthumous sculpture that I have done over the years, and the feelings that have accompanied each sculpture. They are all different. With Ellie I felt like she was my student, but even though she was only 7 years old I also felt like she was my contemporary in art. Casey, felt evasive, when I sculpted him. Kipper felt formal and cordial. I could go on, each sculpture, each person, leaving a residual of a feeling. With Patsy I feel hmmm, It is hard to explain. I feel very close, like she is a mother figure. The love of children and grandchildren feels so strong.
It is funny. I don’t even know Patsy, but I miss her.
In Loving Memory of Patsy… The Bust
I’m working on the bust of Patsy separately. By doing this I can get much closer and spend a considerable amount of time on it. I love the photos that Howard gave me. I don’t think there is one angle that I am missing; it is great to have such good reference material. Patsy feels friendly from the moment I put my hands in the clay. This is not the case with all sculptures; often it takes some time to get used to the sculpture.
The clay that I use for the sculpture is a waxed base clay and must be heated up in a crock pot. The armature of the bust is wire and foam. Carefully I put the clay on this armature. The clay is extremely hot and it causes terrible burns if I am not careful.
I keep looking and comparing the photos of Patsy.
In Loving Memory Of Patsy… Be Patient
While away at college in Vermont at the end of April. I was anxious to get home and work on Patsy. In my study of the process, I must say I am not sure what I read into this process to help me do it, and what is really happening. Several nights I said, right out loud, “Not now, be patient, I’ll get to sculpting soon.” I am not sure if I was telling Patsy or myself. However, since then I have had a second commission that has come about. Lucas was 5 when he drowned in the pool at his day care. As soon as his mother called and she began talking to me about Lucas and doing a sculpture of him, I felt an immediate connection to him. I have not seen any pictures of him however, I can feel him, and kind of see him in my head. I need to get Patsy further along before I can think about sculpting Lucas. I had noticed in the past that when I try to work on more than one person at a time, unless they are siblings, their personalities, spirits or whatever seem to get all mixed up in the clay. I don’t know how to define it, I don’t even know if anyone else notices. But I do!
The funny thing is I feel that same urging that I felt from Patsy about getting going on with the sculpture however, there are some differences. Instead of a nudging or a reminding, as I felt with the Patsy sculpture, there is this feeling of “Come play with me, please.” Once again, this may be what I read into the sculpture to be able to do it, and not anything mystical or psychic or of that nature. I just know that with that sort of pleading from Lucas it is hard to ignore.
In Loving Memory of Patsy… Talking to Patsy?
During this process of sculpting I saturate myself with everything that is Patsy. One day while soaking in the tub I was thinking about the pictures and found myself talking to Patsy. I didn’t even realize I did this, and had I not been doing this study along with the sculpture I would never have known that I do. “Your boys are wonderful they have grown into such incredible men.” I said, not even realizing. I looked around the bathroom and thought, “I must be crazy.” However, after taking some time to reflect on what I was doing I couldn’t help myself. I thought of the pictures of Patsy with her grandchildren and I kept talking. “It must be wonderful to be a grandmother,” I said.
In Loving Memory of Patsy… How do I do this?
I think the most profound thing that is coming from the in-depth study of posthumous portraiture, is that I have had to ask myself the question, “Am I communicating with the deceased?” It sounds too eerie, too strange, and too off the wall, but as I am taking a closer look at the entire thing, I believe something is happening. I spoke to my mother about this subject. I really trust her judgement, and she is not only my physical mother but a spiritual mother as well. She believes that The Holy Spirit inspires me to do what I do. Either way, I know it brings healing. There is often healing of family members through the process of posthumous sculpture.
In Loving Memory of Patsy… The Pose
I spoke to Howard, Patsy’s husband, and asked him for as many photographs of Patsy as possible. These photographs are necessary for me to obtain a likeness of Patsy, but more than that, sometimes I think I can “feel” Patsy through these photographs. I have been trying to pay close attention to this study and the sculpting of Patsy. I search for who she is in everything. Howard brought by Patsy’s shoes and dress. This is an incredible thing for me to sculpt from. On my first day in the studio, before beginning to sculpt, I sat alone with Patsy’s dress and shoes, and I thought a lot about her. There are several of the photographs that Howard has given to me of Patsy that when I look at them they just really get to me.
If you are a friend or family member of Patsy and can post comments and feelings about Patsy, I would greatly appreciate it. If they are personal, please e-mail them to me and put “Patsy comments” in the subject line. All of these comments help me to know Patsy better.
Patsy, My Newest Project
I am utilizing my studies at Vermont College and incorporating this semester’s work into my newest projects. One of which, is the lifesize bronze sculpture of Patsy. I have decided to take a very close look at how I create posthumous portraiture. People always say that my sculptures are so life-like and have such spirit to them. It is easy to say how I do that with those who I have met and come to know, but in this study I am not only going to document the process of sculpting, but I am also going to take a very intimate look at how I do this sort of thing. How do I capture the sprit of a person I have never met? How do I capture the spirit of the deceased? Why do I love doing posthumous portraits? What are the psychological aspects of this type of work for both my client and myself? As I journal the process, I am intending to make it a book, “In Loving Memory of… Capturing the Spirit of the Deceased, a Sculptor’s Journey.”
If you are following the sculpture of Patsy, you will quickly be able to find posts that are about the sculpture. They will start with, “In loving memory of Patsy…” You can also search Patsy in the categories.
A Perpetual Learner
As if my life is not full enough, I am also back into school. At my age, who would have thought? It feels strange but very natural, and I would not have been able to do it were it not for the residency program at Vermont College Union Institute. (As of 2020, Vermont College does not exist as it did in 2005. Goddard College however has the same program.) It also feels good to be stimulating my brain. The college utilizes what I am doing in my art as a part of my curriculum. So other than reading and documenting my progress, which I do already, I don’t really have a tremendous amount of work. I don’t necessarily need the degree; I just want to add it to my list of accomplishments. I have; however, entertained the idea of teaching art or writing at a college level, and as one college said, “I can see you are a master artist, but do you have a masters degree?” And like anything else, I’m blogging about my adventures of returning back to school, at my age. If you are interested check out the Perpetual Learner blog.
I have written two articles about going back to school. The first, “Returning to College” was in the March 2005 issue of the Houston Tribune. And, “Past and Future in the Green Mountain State” was in the May 2005 issue of the Houston Tribune.
