Jenna

To the sculpture of Jenna. I am trying to bring the Jenna Sculpture to Main when I bring the Dick Hathaway sculpture to Vermont. That is at the end of August. The foundry reports I must have Jeanna in mold for the bronze casting by the end of this month- May. It takes a while to go through the bronze process. I have ulterior motives in that I would really like Jenna’s mom to have her before Jenna’s birthday. That way they can celebrate, maybe have an unveiling at the gravesite.

This sculpture will be done a bit differently using new technology.. stay tuned.

Here is the pose that we decided on for Jenna. Yesterday my husband helped me to create a 3D butterfly for her finger. I’m glad he did as it prompted me to take her hand out a bit further from her face. I’m going to be creating Jenna a bit differently than any other sculpture that I have done before, stay tuned for the details.

It can’t be easy trying to pick a pose of your child that you want to represent an entire life, the emotion between two individuals or this special persons interaction with the entire world. I think for the most part both Jenna’s mom and I depend on intuition, or maybe even a little guidance from Jenna. Taking some suggestions from Jenna’s mom on a possible revision of poses I raised the head, but intuitively the hand needed to be raised. The pose is the same otherwise.

How about taking out the lower part of the headstone? It changes the feel of the sculpture entirely. Something we may or may not want to consider. When I first saw pictures of Jenna I thought, “she will be in ballet or perhaps Cirque du Soleil” She just seemed to have an intuition about her own body and expressed all emotion through it.

Looking over the few photographs that I have on my computer she is constantly raising one leg. I am really not sure how she did this without losing her balance. I guess I call it a body squeal. Her body cannot contain the joy. I gave her this same enthusiasm in the one-seated post but took out the idea of her sock and replaced it with a butterfly (represented in the poser figure as a ball). I pulled her headstone behind her a bit so as to balance her in her squeal.

Jenna’s mom often referred to the finger plays that they used to do together. I know very little about them but if I close my eyes I can picture Jenna’s enthusiasm, her verbal and body squeals. I pushed the creativity a bit further and decided to shape Jenna’s left hand in a different pose. Instead of an open hand or a pointing finger that might appear in this pose, I shaped her left hand into the sign language shape for “I love you”. As a hidden message to her family and a representation of this very precious game between mom and child.

It was down to the two poses, crawling over the headstone, and taking off the sock. Now I put more things in the mix. I don’t know if this will confuse Jenna’s parents or help them solidify the process. From past experiences of creating posthumous sculpture it usually just all works itself out.

Don’t you just love this Poser program! Making changes and seeing it from all directions is so wonderful.
If you want to see any of the photographs larger, just click on the image.

I worked on one last pose for Jenna. This one shows a 3Dimage of her trying to crawl up on a headstone and touch a butterfly (indicated as a ball on the headstone). Now it will be up to Jenna’s mom to decide on a pose. Modifications will be made as we work through the process. I have at times had epiphanies while sculpting. Changed a pose entirely even after the client and I decided on one. That happened with Patsy. Even though the client was at the photo sitting for the pose, I called them later and said, “I don’t think Patsy would sit this way.” As it turns out they felt the same thing but knew I was so far along on the sculpture they did not know if they could change it. They were relieved that I was intuitive enough to pick up on it, and glad for the change of the pose.

Last night I watched a segment on the public television station about children and cancer. I believe it was called a Lion in the House . It was difficult to watch and made you ever so grateful for your own health and the health of your children. I watched it for Jenna’s mom, for Ellie’s Mom and a recent contact of a 17 year old that died of Leukemia. These are such brave souls to have gone through such a fight. I am very honored to memorialize these individuals, to learn about their life and capture their spirit for everyone to see, to give parents “continuing bonds” through posthumous sculpture. I love my job!

Notice how each sculpture has a different feel to it? the one with her sitting on the stone alone is a startling feeling. I decided to shorten the stone to see how that would change the feel of the sculpture. I worked on the last one, with the sock, after visiting a headstone store. Believe it or not there is one right next to the Mexican restaurant that we frequent. That is when I noticed the base of some of these stones. It is unusual to have the headstone off center and I pictured her kind of leaning against the stone, the stone should also be rounded on the top. But I can’t do that in this program and would work on that in the sketch. I pictured her getting ready to have fun, to experience the tactical sensation of the grass in her toes, her toes being able to wiggle. One sock off and the other literally being pulled from her foot she is distracted by something else…. The angels! I still don’t think at this point she knows she has wings. I decided to shorten the stone, by the way I learned they need to be about 6′ thick. This give an entirely different feel to the piece. I think I like it better. It focuses on her. It also reminds me of the small grave that I visited on a photo shoot in the cemetery. There is something to be said about the littleness of the stone.

I can’t say that this technology is new, as it has been around a while. It has taken me some time to get my own hands on it and get it in my office. Usually I am sitting next to my husband prompting him, ” move this here, move that there.” It is stifling for someone who works with movement to try and direct someone else. I am thrilled finally have this in my own office. TECHNOLOGY yeah!!!

I am speaking of Poser. Poser is a program that allows you to bring a subject into a virtual reality and pose it. I took the opportunity of having this new project of 14 month old Jenna and she and I have been playing in Poser. Of course poser didn’t come with wings or a cherub or a baby. I bought these 3D models, along with several poses from Daz. The total cost was about 55.00 for those extras but was worth it as it save a bunch of time in posing. As soon as I get a chance I’ll try to put together a video on how this is done.

The wonderful part about using poser is that I can pose this beautiful model, and then take the camera and view it from all sides, just as if I was walking around the sculpture. It is a great tool. As you can see I am working with several different ideas, each seems to work into another. The one where she is sitting next to the tall memorial I had envisioned her pulling a sock off of her right foot, the other sock will already be off. perhaps in her lap or at her side. We had toyed with the idea of putting a butterfly in the piece. That would work best in the tall sculpture of her standing/climbing. Perhaps a butterfly is on the far side of the memorial headstone.

many of the details like, socks or a butterfly are to time consuming for me to put into these 3D models. But these models are great for me to be able to use in creating sketches for the client. TO SEE THE 3D MODEL LARGER, CLICK ON THE PHOTOGRAPHS

DID SHE KNOW SHE HAD WINGS?
“I don’t think she knew she had wings.” Was a comment I made to Jenna’s mom. That comment keeps feeding me creatively. Together we all play, shoes no shoes, what does she wear, how is she sitting? Images float through my mind of someone I have never known. She appears to have soaked up everything. If she were sitting at the gravesite she would be elated over the soft grass, and the texture of the stone, fascinated and smiling about the wings. Fascinated by the world around her and emitting joy like on of those lights you see in the night sky and can’t help but be drawn to it and wonder, “what is so special that warrants such brightness?” Back and forth in in-mails Jenna’s mom and I go until the formulation of Jenna’s sculpture is just the way it was supposed to be. I’ll know it, because it will feel like it has been that way forever, it is just our journey to discover it. I know that sounds strange but it is what the process is all about.

DO THEY PLAY?
I think about all of the children that I have sculpted. I wonder if somehow they know each other on the other side, Did Casey and Lucas meet Ellie. Are Ellie and Lucas greeting Jenna and showing her around, are the older children, kipper and Jeanine watching on and smiling?

THE BOX
This week I pray as the box of items that will be utilized to create this sculpture are gathered together by Jenna’s mom. It is a sacred ritual and a very intimate time between Jenna and her mother a part of their intimacy that I will soon feel. Emotion is packed with each item as pieces are carefully chosen. Clothes, photographs, video, shoes, special items that will be not just reference but the seeds of emotions that birth this work of art.

JENNA’S MOM
I know you have a name and I never noticed it before, but I prefer to just call you Jenna’s mom. I do hope that is all right. Perhaps it is because I’m trying to find my connection to Jenna, and that is through you. Jenna’s mom is an incredibly honoring title.

It is interesting how these people come into my life, people that I have never known and now become such a very integral part of who I am, even after their death, and not just the deceased, but also the living and loving relatives. The email comes. Immediately I feel bonded, but I have learned not to become too attached before a commitment to proceed. Jenna. She was just 14 months but I begin to feel her. Dream of her and prayers enter my heart for her and her family from that first e-mail.

It’s a God thing. Because months ago I began to feel the desire to sculpt a cherub. It was a little whisper in my heart that was not even expressed in words. My schedule of writing and sculpting is such that to create something just to create does not happen, unless it is with my gift line, Gods Word collectibles. Everything must be done through commissions. I felt compelled to ask Jenna’s mom, “how about her as a cherub.” I did not. It is important that I let the creative and healing process take place with all posthumous commissions. It begins with the e-mails, and it could end just as quickly. Many clients love the opportunity of capturing their loved one in a sculpture, and there are others who just cannot stand the idea of a 3D image. You either love it or you don’t. I wait patiently to be sure both parents want this project and try no to embrace Jenna until they do. When Jenna’s mom comments about a cherub, my heart skips a beat. This is the cherub God put into my heart months ago. God was preparing me to meet Jenna.

Having a parent that will share their feelings with me is an absolute integral part of the creative process. That sharing opens the creativity. The parent and the surviving loved ones become just as important to the process as the artist. When people look at my artwork and say, “it has so much life to it.” It is the parents; the surviving loved ones who have put it there through the months of the creation. We co create together. If they withhold communication or their feelings from me, the sculpture becomes stiffer, less life-like. As hard as I try to bring that magical part of the creative process into play, without that interaction the life does not come forth. For parents this is a second birth of a child, for me it is the process of creating.

At the same time of communicating that process opens up a connection between my client and myself—a very unusual connection. I wrote about it in the book and struggled with it in every writing. Non-local phenomenon, they call it. I has been difficult for me to even conceive of, but indeed it happens. Science comes to terms with it a bit in Couvades syndrome. That is where a father feels and acts the same way as his pregnant wife. Dr Larry Dossey talks about the ability to do this non-locally, not being in the same proximity as another. And often a mother or father will know something is wrong with a loved one when they are far away. How does that happen? Dossey describes it as Having Empathic loving bonds. I surmise that these happen with “some” of my commissions because of the following. Cont.

• Develop an emotional attachment through picking up the nuances of expression and experiencing some of these within my own body
• My continued prayer for the families
• The continuous openness to “find” my subject and their personality
• Offering myself through the process of posthumous commissions as a venue for my clients to express their love and memories of their loved ones.
• The very meditative and flow state of the creative process (the ahhahh of illumination)

I say all of this because about the middle of last week the “ nonlocal” process opened up. I have failed to mention that as many times as this happens, I often forget that I have this “gift.” If you wake up one day and feel a certain way, you look for things in your life to feel that way about. You attach the emotion to something in your own life. This is a very strange thing indeed. ( and to the very dismay of my family that goes through it each time) As painful as this is, and sometimes tormenting, it does (after I recognize it as not my own) give me a knowledge of how to pray.

It was not until yesterday that I said to my husband, “If ever I feel this way, we must remember to ask, is there a new commission?” I cannot even express the range of feelings that are passed onto me through this commission of Jenna. They seem too personal, an invasion of my clients privacy to express. When I say, “I know how you feel,” it is not just an empathy that most will express. It is because I have gone through some of the emotions with you. Some researchers, those who will accept this is a possibility, say that this phenomenon may have originated because of survival; some in a tribe or clan would take on the physical or emotional elements of another, so that duties of survival could be performed. Does it lesson the pain of the one on the other end? I don’t know. It does increase my emotional involvement with my sculpture, and maybe it is that element that gives the sculpture the life-like qualities and puts spirit into the art.Jenna Rose Mangini, DOB September 12, 2006, Date that she became a beautiful angel December 22, 2008